Romney on Religion

Somebody at the Weekly Standard had fun writing this:

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Fred Thompson: He's Real. And He's Spectacular

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Who's the Reaganiest?

More laugh-out-loud political satire from the Red State Update duo:

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To Compensate for the Light Blogging Recently

Joshua Muravchik defends Sacha Baron Cohen:

[In an interview with Ali G,] a representative of the Drug Enforcement Agency, warns youngsters of the dangers of substance abuse. Speaking of hashish, he explains that it “slows your ability to learn . . . your brain just really slows down.” Ali: “And are there any negative effects?” When the agent remarks that drugs seized by the agency are incinerated, Ali is perplexed: “Why aren’t they given to charity?”

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Larry Craig, Meet Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Related: "Despite Denials, Gays Insist They Exist, if Quietly, in Iran."

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Conservative Course Catalog

Would you take a class on diplomacy taught by Ann Coulter? How about one on marriage by Newt Gingrich? How to shape press coverage by Scotter Libby? Airport restroom etiquette by Larry Craig?

Campus Progress, a project of the Center for American Progress, wants you to write a snarky college course description for right-wingers. The best entry will receive a $250 gift certificate for books. You need not be a student to enter.

Examples to get you started:

Political Science 312: Military Operations and Winning the Peace
Instructor of Record: Donald Rumsfeld

In this advanced seminar, students will learn that the best way to take the fight to the enemy is to attack a country that didn’t attack you, send in forces you didn’t properly equip, and seek to occupy a country of 27 million people with 130,000 troops and no plans whatsoever. Goodness gracious, me oh my! Other topics will include running a prison with panache; using no-bid contracts to increase quality; and “listening to America,” with a special guest speaker from the National Security Agency.

Political Science 254: International Institutions and Getting to No
Instructor of Record: John Bolton

A very wise man once said that the U.N. Secretariat building in New York has 38 stories, and if you lost 10 stories today, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference. This course will explore whether it might not be better to lose all 38. Grounded in diplomatic nuance and sophistication, course topics will include: blustering while paying no dues; which peoples are the most contemptible; “I can’t hear you!”; better spiteful than safe; and being suspicious of everyone, even your hamster. I don’t suffer fools gladly, so fools should register for something else.

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Politicians Are People, Too

They have a sense of humor.

Romney: "I asked Ann, my wife, 'Did you ever in your wildest dreams believe I would be running for President?' She told me, 'You weren't in my wildest dreams.'"

Rudy: "To have a description of my mistakes in 30 seconds?"

Fred Thompson: "I am sitting here with a long face and broken heart as I contemplate sunsets on the Mediterranean, which I will not see. . . . We must remember the unspoken vow that all United States senators take upon entering the Senate: I shall have no money, and I shall have no fun. I, of course regarding myself as an unconquerable soul, am still determined to break the second part of that vow."

Karl Rove: When his resignation from the White House was announced, some staffers at a Seattle Times news meeting cheered. Rove responded by sending a basket of cookies to the newsroom, with a note saying, "My wife shares in your enthusiasm."

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A Surprise Guest Interrupts the White House Easter Egg Roll

Hat tip: RCP.

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